Once upon a time, Holly had 10 days of vacation time for her year in Mozambique. “Where should I go and what should I do?” she asked herself. After some initial waffling, she decided to save them all for a fantastical voyage to the land of Tanzania to visit her friend Bret from Valpo. Having spent nearly 8 months in Moz, she was ready for some time off.

So, on Thursday, April 2, she set off before the crack of dawn in one of those crazy little mini-buses, in search of . . . nature! As she began to climb in elevation towards the Malawi border, she already knew it was gonna be good . . .

Arriving in the city of Blantyre was like going through a time warp. There were huge buildings, ten banks on a block, and even restaurants serving ice cream!

After wandering a bit, she located the guest house she had reserved. With a garden like this, she felt like perhaps she had arrived in heaven. And to her further delight, there were extremely comfortable couches (apparently that’s a thing in Malawi), a completely equipped kitchen, and hot water inside.

The next day, Holly went on a quest to dig up the roots of her foray into social justice, the project that inspired her to join Valpo’s Social Action Leadership Team, Project Peanut Butter [PPB was Valpo’s World Relief Campaign in 2005 and when I saw that such a small group of students had managed to raise $10,000 for this project, I knew I had to get in on that action]. Much to her surprise, the friendly lad who had been assigned to show her the project was fellow Valpo grad (and friend of a friend) Jay Reinking! So off she went to an intense day of learning about malnutrition in Malawi and how PPB is trying to halt it. Here are some nurses teaching project participants about health and nutrition:

Project Peanut Butter helps fight child malnutrition by giving children a vitamin and nutrient rich peanut paste made in Blantyre from peanuts, oil, sugar, and milk powder. Mothers come every 2 weeks over an 8 week period to monitor their child’s health and make sure the child is improving. The program already has a success rate of over 80 percent. Jay and some other medical school students are researching whether it would be possible to substitute some soy for the milk, which would be more locally available and lower cost. It was a crazy day of seeing mothers and babies nonstop. At the end of the day we finally had a chance to catch our breath.

Tired but full of life, she hit the sack, because the next day was a 12-hour trek northward. Holly was shocked to find that in Malawi they even have many greyhound type buses and some even have luggage storage underneath (!). Though it was a long day of sitting the views were amazing and constantly changing.

(you can’t really see it here, but there was a HUGE rainbow arching across the whole wide-open sky)

The next day Holly passed through the final stretch of Malawi, some of which was along the lakeshore of Lake Nyassa/Malawi. When she crossed the border into Tanzania, she had a brief moment of panic in which she realized that people don’t really speak English there . . . but she bought a phone card and was able to get in contact with Bret who was . . . unfortunately trapped on the other side of water impassable for a bus. But it worked out ok because Bret had a peace corps friend nearby where Holly could stay the night. The next day they met up and from there it was smooth going.

You would be bored out of your gourd if I gave you the play by play, but basically Holly spent a lot of time outside – some of it hiking to waterfalls, some of it by/in Lake Nyassa, and some of it hiking around the mountains.

One of the waterfall hikes brought out some pent up tension between Bret and his German roommate Phil (just kidding!) . .. . although there was a rather scary incident with a falling rock.

The most exciting part of the trip was the mile-high climb from a village near Lake Nyassa to Bret’s house high in the mountains above. As usual for this time of year (still the rainy season there), there were lots of clouds engulfing the mountains, but they did break a few times to give them a marvelous view of the lake. All that green you see on the right side is the most delicious rice she had ever tasted in her life . . .

They passed through a stunning mix of landscapes – from the saturated tropical foothills covered with bananas and rice, to thick grassy slopes, to a rainforest that suggested sloths, to finally a more alpine landscape that seemed like it could be any North American forest (except for the odd banana tree). The hike was mostly straight up, but Holly enjoyed it because it was not another cramped and bouncing bus.

Back at Bret’s house, Holly enjoyed a few days of cooking delicious foods over a charcoal stove, walking about the mountains, playing cards, watching movies, playing guitar, and soaking up the sun as the blessing it truly is there in the delightfully chilly villa of Bulongwa.

Thus, fully rejuvenated, Holly returned homeward to Mozambique. But not before making a stop to climb “Pride Rock” (as coined by peace corps friend Andrew) . . .

Much of this year I’ve been thinking about what I want to do next, after this SALT experience. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to do this – I wanted to figure out what God is calling me to do long term. Instead of answers I’ve found that I’ve really just come up with more questions. How do I fit into the world? What should I do with my life? What is service? What is development and what are its end goals? The future just completely overwhelms me.

In fact, going into this year I kind of thought I would fall in love with the job and that I would end up staying longer. I mean, the job description was practically written for me. But that’s not quite what happened. In theory the work seems so important (what’s more important than to help people combat hunger and thirst?), but in the day to day I constantly struggle with what my role should be. I have spent nearly the entire time here milling over this question of whether I should stay or not. There have been some experiences that I have loved, but also a lot more really hard experiences than I expected. I’ve been lonely here.

So, while most of you probably had no idea I was even considering staying, this is just a note to say that I’m coming home. It has been a hard choice for me to make. I’m a bit disappointed in myself, since I thought this was going to be my dream job. It’s hard not to feel guilty too, especially when the people I care about here so frequently ask me why I won’t stay. I don’t know how to explain.

My mother’s advice was that I should find where my heart’s delight meets the world’s need. So Mozambique, though I have come to love you deeply, I don’t think this work is my heart’s delight. The problem is . . . now I have no idea what is . . . I guess I have a whole lifetime to find out . . .

So now I shall commence to say goodbye to Mozambique as the time here flies towards its conclusion. There is something about this beautiful land that has seeped into my skin that I hope will always stick with me. Maybe I’ll be back some day. But for now, I will try to soak up the things about this country that have made me a better person.