As you might have heard in the news, the U.S. has issued a state of emergency over a new strain of the flu called “swine flu,” a virus that causes respiratory illness in pigs and only recently has begun to infect humans.

At the center of what is now a national medical nightmare is Mexico City, the epicenter of it all.

I’m writing this blog in the form of journal entries, to give a better idea of what its like to live in a city that overnight turned into the last place on earth most people want to be.

THURSDAY, APRIL 23

Mario asked to borrow my computer tonight to check his email. Supposedly school is called off tomorrow citywide. This would surprise me in the States, but schools here call off school here all the time, for seemingly no reason at all.

FRIDAY, APRIL 24

I went to Elias’ house today for breakfast like I do every Friday. The first thing they asked me was if I “had heard the news.” Apparently school has been called off for the whole week. It sounded a bit extreme for the flu.

At least it did until we gathered in the evening at the pastor’s house to leave on our RECH service trip to Vera Cruz. As we slowly trickled in, playing games and watching the news, it became apparent that things were more serious than we first imagined.

What is simply being called “Influenza” here has so far infected around 1000 people, 20 of whom have died. The virus is something completely new, and though it contains the same symptoms of the flu (achiness, sore throat, cough etc.), the human body has virtually no means of protection against it. Without treatment, the body takes on severe pneumonia-like symptoms and can kill within three days.

Of the four available flu vaccines, swine flu is immune to two of them. The other two appear to work fairly well if used early. However, there is not enough of those vaccines in production to treat all of Mexico City, and creating a new “swine flu specific” vaccine could take months.

As we all gathered in the evening to hear what would happen with our service trip, we were told it would be postponed a few weeks. Apparently sharing our faith right now means not sharing our newfound disease. I think that’s a wise decision.

SATURDAY, APRIL 25

Since we were all together for our service trip last night, the boys all came to my house and we played Risk and watched YouTube videos until 4:00 AM, a good distraction from the heavy news.

When I woke up at 11:30 the death toll had risen to almost 60. By evening over 3,000 are infected. Museums and other tourist attractions had been shut down. Over 500 public events had been canceled. Usually packed soccer games had been shut down so that teams played in eerily empty stadiums. Night clubs and theatres were ordered closed. I was fairly content to stay in my room all day.

At midafternoon I got a call from one of my youth asking me if I wanted to play soccer.

Are you kidding me? Of course I did, but I also want to live long enough to see my friends and family again. I’m not sure what a Mexican born medical mystery can do to an American immune system, but I don’t want to find out.

Then midafternoon Mario asked me if I wanted to go to the pastor’s house with him.

This is a tough dilemma. My job is to spend as much time as possible with the youth here. Which ironically is exactly what the government is telling us not to do right now.

But I went with him and with Alba and Cha Chas we bought ice cream and then spent some time strolling in one of the nearby church parks.

I am starting to realize how impossible it is for me to isolate myself from this virus. I spend almost every day at the pastor’s house. The pastor’s wife works downtown and takes the metro. Though the police have handed out over 6 million masks, I have to face the fact that the odds of me catching this are as likely as anyone.

In the evening we watched the news together. All schools shut down until May 7. All public gatherings to be avoided.

The fear is real. We’re against an enemy we can’t see. It does not discriminate, it has no mercy, and in a packed city of 25 million, it can’t be stopped.

I’ve never lived this close to the reality of death before. I’ve never felt so helpless.

I constantly remind myself that less than 1% of the population has swine flu and of those, less than 1% have died.

The government says that most of the deaths were advanced cases that were not treated early. All the same, this strain is unique in that it does not target babies and the elderly. It targets healthy middle aged people.

SUNDAY APRIL 26

The decision was made to have church today. Seems like a big risk to me, but I don’t make the calls. Maybe we need church more now than ever, to focus, clear our heads, and push aside the rising panic. Even in the middle of all of this we are never alone.

Death toll is past 80 today. Nobody leaves the house without a mask. It’s a grave and eerie feeling to see everyone walking around in surgeons masks. Our service today looked more like a Jackson family reunion.

I feel I haven’t taken a full breath in days. It’s a very stressful and suffocating feeling. I wore my mask 80% of the day. It only comes off when I eat and when I’m alone in my room.

Epidemics breed suspicion. Eyes shift from one person to the next. Maybe THEY have the flu. Any sneeze or cough is met with icy stares.

Along with fear here there is a rising frustration with the Mexican government, which apparently has buried the issue since the first cases emerged in March. The late reaction has put containment out of the question.

There is also a sense of panic regarding the economic situation. Not only do many jobs come to a standstill, the black mark this puts on Mexico also puts many jobs at risk in the tourism industry. In a city already hit hard by the economic situation, people are wondering when things are going to hit bottom and start getting better again.

I was told today to assure everyone back home that I was fine and that life goes on as usual here, which is true. And while it is encouraging to see the bustle of city life continues, it also shows the hopelessness of containment.

MCC is also monitoring the situation closely. Though the risk are high I want everyone to know that I’m not in any imminent danger and that MCC will take good care of me. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as this medical drama continues to unfold.

MONDAY APRIL 27
Mario woke me up for breakfast this morning to tell me we were going to go eat in the market.

Seriously? Would you ask for everyone there to touch my face too just in case I DON’T get infected?

Sometimes I get frustrated with Mario. Mario seems to go wherever he wants, refuses to wear a mask, and of course is around me most of the day. I wonder why I even bother with a mask.

In all honesty, as hot and confining as it is, I think it gives me a bit of comfort to have some semblance of control instead of just waiting for this bug to pick us off one at a time.

Death toll in Mexico rose to 150 today. All schools in the country have now been shut down for the week. A member of our congregation canceled a flight to Central America because he was told he likely wouldn’t be let in the country.

It seems like countries everywhere are putting up their walls, and for good reason. Swine Flu popped up in more countries today and skyrocketed to almost 50 cases in the US.

Most countries, including the US, are discouraging all but necessary travel to Mexico. The WHO (World Health Organization, not to be confused with the rock band who have absolutely no say in the matter) raised the threat level from phase three to phase four, meaning there is sustained human-to-human transmission of the virus causing outbreaks in at least one country.

That seems to be fairly obvious, but the WHO is being very cautious, due to the drastic economic impact of raising the risk levels. If the risk level reaches phase 6, which would imply a pandemic, borders, trade, and travel would virtually come to a halt. There is no saying how much havoc that would wreak on the world’s already fragile economy.

It would also make things interesting for me.

As of right now, MCC is keeping a careful watch on the situation, waiting for more information so as to make an informed decision (which is exactly what I would be doing if I was in charge.)

However, if the threat is raised to phase six, this would likely imply that all travel in and out of Mexico would be sealed off until either A. everything is under control or B. the city dies off.

That’s an awfully gloomy outlook for a disease that only kills 1% of those infected, but then again, the 1918 epidemic had a mortality rate of 2.5% and that killed over 40 million people.

Its not fair to compare the medical preparation of 1918 with 2008, but these thoughts do slip through my head as I spend most of my day isolated, pondering whether that last cough was on account of breadcrumbs from my toast or the beginning of the flu.

Though in honesty, I am doing fine. I take courage from my community around me that continue to go about their lives with their heads up, with the knowledge that with Christ for us, who can be against us? It might not be a blanket of immunity, but more importantly our faith gives us the peace and the strength to face whatever comes our way. Even the flu.

TUESDAY APRIL 28

I woke up this morning with a sore throat. It was the gentle kind, the kind that goes away with your morning glass of mango juice, but I can still feel it tickle the back of my throat.

I spent the day doing everything in my power to knock it back to wherever it came from, not hard to do considering Tuesday is my day off.

Am I getting swine flu? Probably not. But that’s the tricky part isn’t it? What if I was? That is a lot of the problem here in the city now. Hospitals and clinics are swamped with people that have flulike symptoms and only about 2% of them end up getting diagnosed with swine flu.

Being upgraded to a level four alert has meant closing all gyms, pool halls, bars, and restaurants (except for takeout). A level five would completely shut down public transport and a level six I’m told would confine us to our houses.

Some people are stocking up on food in case this happens. But aside of food, people are worried about their jobs. The majority of people live day to day here. Those that do have bank accounts rarely take more than $50-60 out at a time. Shutting down the city would absolutely devastate such a system.

Hopefully this won’t happen. After all, the WHO have declared such measures as practically useless at this point, encouraging more effort put towards quick response medicating.

This didn’t stop Cuba and Argentina from being the first countries to close their borders to Mexico.

News that a swine flu specific vaccine will take months comes at the same time as flu numbers spike in the US and around the world. It’s unsure what will come next.

Our church, which has been divided into smaller community groups to lessen the risk of contamination, met tonight to pray. The gathering of our colonia met in my room and consisted of all youth. We prayed for the ill, for the politicians, for the doctors, and most of all, peace of mind for the rest of us. And then we did what needs to be done when the world seems to be falling apart around you. We made a pecan pie. And it was delicious.

This evening came the first good news we’ve heard in a while. With only seven more deaths today, things seem to be stabilizing here. Thanks be to God.

THURSDAY APRIL 30

I left the house today for the first time in two days. This wasn’t on account of paranoia, but rather the fact that I’ve been nursing this slightly sore throat. I went to the pastor’s house to eat today, partly because he called me to say I should and also because I am going crazy being so contained.

So I rode the combi system for the first time since the flu started. Two packed combis, one there and one back. 30-40% wore masks. I was also surprised to get an invite to eat at the directors house tomorrow. That will involve taking the combi, metro and the bus.

All that as the WHO raises the alert to a level 5. What does that mean here? It means that this next week (starting tomorrow) all essential business will shut down. Public transport will remain open as well as supermarkets, gas stations, etc. but the idea is to essentially shut down the city for a week.

This is a desperate attempt to choke the life out of this flu. Already Mexico City’s economy is said to be losing 57 million dollars every day. That number will only climb higher.

But even as the virus continues to spread across the world there is hope on the horizon. Mexico’s health chief is optimistic, noting that a virus like this should technically grow exponentially. The fact that the deaths have leveled off over the last few days is perhaps hope that the bug is losing strength.

We can only hope

SUNDAY MAY 3
After several days of holding our breath while the swine flu did relatively little, life here seems to be getting back to normal. At least in my neck of the woods.

Technically the whole city is on shutdown until Wednesday, and when I went downtown to have lunch with the directors, I found things to be quite different. The metro, usually packed was virtually empty and eerily quiet. Some of the vendors communicated solely through hand gestures, I assume under the assumption that if you don’t open your mouth, the virus doesn’t get in. If only it was that simple.

Stores in the center were also shut down, as well as some city parks. Why is it not like that where I’m at? I think its because people can’t afford to take such precautions. Many people work day to day so that can eat. If you fancy eating, then you set up shop, regardless of the risks.

While the virus worldwide seems to be escalating, surprisingly it is doing almost the opposite here. For a few days nobody died, hospital cases went down, people stopped wearing their masks. Even government officials are hopeful that the worst is over.

The WHO of course is wary. Nobody can be sure how the virus will mutate. The flu is tricky that way. It’s the reason you can’t get a once in a lifetime vaccine like the chicken pox. The flu is always evolving, testing the limits of the latest drugs.

The latest report is that while only 4 of over two hundred family members of the flu have gotten sick, thus proving that it does not spread as rapidly as originally thought. However, in the past 24 hours 11 more people have died. Apparently we don’t quite have everything figured out yet.

I however, have hope that this bug is running its course, so that I can go back to complaining about more interesting things, like the fact that the neighbor’s parrot has learned how to whistle and nobody knows how to shut it up. Stay tuned for further updates.

KEEP POSTED, AS I WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE THIS POST

I had a dream the other night in which I matter-of-factly told someone that I only had 100 days left in Mexico. This was an interesting statement, considering I had never counted how many days I have left.

Intrigued by my prophetic statement, I broke my countdown rule and calendar in hand, did a rough tally of the time I have left here.

By golly if I don’t have around 100 days left. I should have minored in prophesy.

Taking a cautious step over all the cliché things I could say about time flying, I must say that I am left with a very solemn feeling of preparation.

I see myself standing in front of the mirror in a starchy suit, slowly taking in a deep breath and making the final adjustments to my tie (all comments about my clip-on will be blatantly ignored).

What I’m preparing for is not a funeral. I have so many special people to come home to and not a day goes by when I don’t look forward to being reunited with them again.

I think the thing I solemnly prepare and wait for (I’ll stop short of “mourn”) is my transition into the adult world.

College graduation usually marks this transition into the “adult world.” Getting up early, working a 8-5 job, wearing a tie, balancing a budget, going to bed early, and doing it all again the next day.

I think of my graduating class as a sheet of cookies being taken out of the oven. I was the cookie on the outer corner that didn’t quite get done in the middle. So I got put back in the oven.

One more year of late nights, sleeping in, having my expenses taken care of, watching movies, listening to loud music, and spending most of my time just “hanging out.”

And I must say I have enjoyed every minute of it.

But we all have to grow up sometime.

Those who know me best know that I’ll never grow up in the truest sense of the word. But I think I will in the sense of accepting the increased responsibility and structure in my life.

I hope to work with youth for a long time to come, but my years of doing it peer to peer are coming to a close.

I hope to always be involved in music, but I will likely never play in a rock band again.

I hope to continue to live my life with a carefree spirit, but I must also adapt to the realities of supporting myself financially.

And I hope I will always live out loud and off the wall, but I also need to find the balance of fun and professionalism that will shape my life and others perceptions of me for the rest of my life.

This year God put me back in the oven, which is right where I’ve needed to be. But my job here with RECH isn’t where He wants me to spend the rest of my life.

God has big plans for me and I stand in the doorway gazing at the horizon, fluctuating between the reluctant sadness to leave the childhood that I know and love and the nervous excitement of facing the unknown possibility of the rest of my life.