Text: Luke 13:23-30
v 28 - Then when you have been thrown outside, you will weep and grit your teeth because you will see Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and all the prophets in God's kingdom.

I've already seen a lot in Cambodia, and a lot I never expected. I've seen beautiful sunsets in the sky over homeless children in the streets. I've seen beautiful smiles turned into the broken heart of a sex slave. I've seen people who have survived the a terrible holocaust but who still hold the wound in their heart, pulsing with rage and grief. The world - including each of us - is such a mix of the beautiful and the corrupt. I don't really know (do any of us?) how to sort out the flaws from the beauty, because it's all wrapped up in our crazy lives. Being in Cambodia has reminded me again of just how complicated life is, how there are not easy answers. In fact, sometimes even the questions are hard to ask!

Unfortunately, the easiest questions to ask and answer end up becoming questions of condemnation. In verse 23 of Luke 13, someone asks, "are only a few going to be saved?" It's the type of question that drives some people crazy, constantly worrying, "will God forgive me?" It's also the type of question that drives some people to hypocrisy, saying "God will never forgive him!"

So let's face it. It is easier to judge someone (even ourselves) than to have understanding and compassion. Take a topic (like street children or the sex industry here in Cambodia), and you often will get anything but a constructive conversation. It degenerates into camps and labels. There is always someone to blame, someone who is worthless, who is worth nothing but our hatred. Can you love the prostitute? Can you love the pimp? Can you love the husband who brought AIDS home to his family? Can you love the woman who sells the pornography? Can you love the woman who sells her daughter to the brothel? Can you love the man who brutalizes her? We want justice, but what we often get is just life, in all its messiness. How can anything good be salvaged out of the horribly complicated, horribly difficult circumstances that defy our easy answers?

Thankfully, if we can take the time to actually see how quick we are to condemn, we can catch a glimpse of the right direction. That is, it can help us see that we are looking in the WRONG direction. For instance, we need to bring the hell question down to earth, where we face it everyday. Doing God's will has to be translated into defying the living hells around us with the kind of joy and freedom that we glimpse most often in mundane experiences of eating, drinking, laughing, just like Jesus. This is what we pray for in those over-used and under-realized words of Jesus, "Thy kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven."

In Luke 13, Jesus keeps saying to some people, "Get away from me, I never knew you!" It's good to remember that these parables were pointed mainly at the righteous and good people of the day, the people with the easy answers like a lot of the Pharisees. These people symbolize the type of things that are easy for all of us to do. It's easy to condemn the prostitute, for instance, and to ignore the secret hell she has been living with. It's easy to keep life simple by using coercion, manipulation, shame, to get people to do what you want or even what you think God wants. If only people were as easy to control as a herd of cattle!

Jesus' point in Luke 13 is not just that we miss out on something in the future when we give in to those easy ways. We are missing something right now. If Jesus can say, "I never knew you," then that means that we can live right now without the joy of knowing what it means to love and live like Jesus, that we're missing out on the kingdom of God in the now. We are the Pharisees and Scribes. We search the Scriptures but miss the point. Because, even in Luke 13, the point isn't that God has come threatening us with death, but that He has come threatening us with life. He is going to disturb our tombs. We rise up out of our old dreads, our old fears, our old hates, and find Jesus sitting at table. And he's sitting with us, teaching us to sing and dance an maybe even overeat. So what if we tried threatening people with heaven instead of hell? What if we actually did return blessing for curse? What if the world really works like that?

So am I saying anything at all? I don't know. But do you feel it sometimes? That life is breaking in to all this death? That the kingdom is coming to earth like it is in heaven? Because Jesus talked about missing out on the kingdom in terms of weeping and gnashing of teeth. Hey, that's a pretty good description of a lot people's lives right now, isn't it? So the real hell question is whether we will embrace the way of Jesus and proclaim the kingdom, on earth; to believe and live like there really is this good news, news that can sustain us through these dark days and tough questions: Jesus is Lord..... Sometimes, in other words, we need to stop asking hell questions and ask some heaven questions instead. And heaven turns everything upside down and inside out -

"People will come from all directions and sit down to feast in God's kingdom. There the ones who are now least important will be the most important, and those who are now most important will be least important." (Luke 13:29-30)

The Highlights:

*Our water leak is repaired, but we were without electricity for a week. There is still an electric problem, but we have lights right now. :)
*We found Fruity Pebbles (which John likes even more than Fruit Loops!) for $3.80 a box! Hurray! Plus, the same store sells multi-grain bread. Mmmmmm.
*John has a new treat - slushies for 1000R (about 25 cents)
*We bought guitars! Mine is a cut-away with fake mother-of-pearl inlays. It is named "Bat" (not my name, but the brand) and has little silver bats around the sound hole. (Silly) John's is also a cut-away and is 1/2 size. All for $49!
` *John David has a new game. He wraps our Pilates body bands around his head, drapes a pair of pants over his head, and sticks incense sticks all over like horns. Then he runs around growling and 'scaring' all the neighbors. He is something of a little celebrity in the neighborhood now. :)
*We've had some really nice rainstorms lately, one that flooded our neighborhood (almost into our house!). John was running and wading in water halfway to his knees and loved it. I had to quiet the parent voice inside me about all the trash (and who knows what else) was in that water. :) It was fun.
*Our CRs gave us a fish tank, and our language teacher took us to buy fish. We now share a house with 4 'bat' fish.
*We hanged out at the Peace Book Center on Saturday. No, it's just a stationery store that also has a few books. They have great school supplies, though, including a lot of stuff that we didn't think we'd be able to find in Cambodia. Plus, they stocked an American literature book that I got to pick up. Happy feelings for David. :)

And the official check-in:

The Ketchums – Both of us: We have been setting up house and studying language. The former has been a little crazy, as our house hunt took some crazy twists and turns. But we finally got a house in the neighborhood we wanted to live in, thanks to a lot of people’s help. Chylong got our alley repaired and a rooftop installed, as well as helping get our electricity repaired this last week. Big thanks! We also had a huge water leak that had to get fixed. But we think we are out of the woods on the house issue. We hope! Language study has been challenging – and our busy schedules haven’t helped. With moving, David’s training, various meetings, and some sicknesses, our studying has been disrupted. But we are both moving along on that front. Finally, we’ve been starting to get to share a little hospitality, which has been really rewarding.

Dave – I have been attending Peace Bridge’s training – their English version of their conflict transformation course – as a good introduction to the people and principles of their work. I’ve enjoyed this a lot, including the new friendships that are coming out of it. Between IVEP committee meetings, Peace Bridges' trainings, and language study, I'm pretty busy most of the time. However, I have enjoyed reading up on some trauma healing issues, peace building resources, and Harry Potter. :) Also: I bought a guitar (hurray!), a new book (hurray for Monument Books!), and some new used clothes (hurray for Larry who went with me!). Finally, I had my first real moto doo-al this month, ending in a torn pair of pants, a pretty bloody hand, and a strained wrist. I was just fine, though, and I haven’t missed a beat on the road. :)

Holly – Setting up house and language study pretty well sums it up. I’m getting used to neighbors and markets – including how to use sign language to buy medical supplies after moto accidents. :) We have made a few connections and I am hoping to visit a project working with street kids under the Japanese Bridge soon, which is the type of work I’ve really enjoyed in the past. Also, we have started a little informal language time with some neighbors. We gather outside our door and trade words in Khmer and English, mainly with a mother and her son (who studies English at school). Finally, we’ve had some grief lately, mainly in the form of a friend from Missouri who passed away last week (leaving a wife and three young children) and the death of John David’s new puppy.

John David – I’ve been playing in the rain a lot and making friends with my new neighbors. There is one little girl who tries to come in our house when I don’t want her to, but I just go to my room when she does that. But there are lots of other children I can play with, like Socheat’s son, the little boy who studies language with me, and the little girl that I like to squirt with water. I also buy a drink of milk almost everyday when I go to the shops with my mom. I like to go to the cooler and ask for ‘tuk-dah-koh,’giving her the money, and saying ‘Akun.’ I miss my grandparents and my dogs and also I miss a lot my dog that just died. His name was ‘Run and Bark.’ I also like eating chicken nuggets at Lucky Burger. They are even better than McDonald’s.

I had a dream last week that was pretty unusual for me.

I was an American solider on a flatbed railroad car (I know that's not realistic, but I don't like Hummers!). I had a video camera and I was doing surveillance to see if civilian sites were being used by insurgents for ammunition storage. We were moving very slowly, and I was looking at a open air warehouse full of empty tubes - large aluminum pipes , maybe like the ones President Bush talked about so many years ago now.

Then I saw an Iraqi move out with a rocket launcher. I rolled off the train and prepared for the exchange.

But my eyes had met the Iraqis. Now I was seeing the dream from his perspective. I was a teen-age boy. My life had been filled with scenes of violence for the last 5 years. My friends and family had been killed. I was too young, but no one could keep me from fighting. I saw my mother as I left to join the insurgents. I saw my little brothers and sisters, looking so serious. We all looked serious these days. We were not children anymore.

Then the image changed, and I was an American woman seeing the picture of the Iraqi children on the TV screen, with the news of the attack. Both the American soldier and the Iraqi boy were dead, but I did not notice too much. The thought crossed my mind that it would be so horrible to be a mother of those boys, so difficult, but I was getting my shopping list ready and trying to keep my own kids quiet.

Waking, I remembered again. Our suffering belongs to all of us. My dream could have been much longer, connecting us all together in the joys and grief of living. But I dreamed enough to remember: this is not a time to blame and hate. This is a time to understand and love. Only by stopping long enough to understand will the violence stop. Sometimes we need the power of dreams before we can wake up.....

I miss:

trees
Cosmic Fish
Classical Radio stations
Baseball
Snow
Z Magazine
Nature Centers
Quiet Walks
Organic Food
Lead-Free Toys
Democracy Now!
Redwing Boots
Blueberries & Strawberries

I DON'T Miss:
parking lots
Wal-Mart
Country Music (sorry)
Pro-Wrestling
Tornadoes
Fox News
Shopping Malls
Driving 70 mph
Fast Food
Toy Commercials
Bott Radio
Roofing
Potato Chips

A common sight here in Cambodia is people sitting along the roadside in small stalls stocked with liter bottles (usually old soda bottles) full of black market gasoline, carried over the border from Vietnam. But that sight might soon be a rarity.

There is a report out that oil exploration will likely take place around the Tonle Sap Basin:

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5iDWu8uQKvc0wgWBIsT-TEHo4vwMQ

Despite guarantees that the exploration won't bring pollution and that it will aid in eliminating poverty, I am concerned. In this nation where infrastructure is still being rebuilt, I don't trust a guarantee that pollution won't occur during exploration - let alone if drilling and pumping of oil would begin in earnest.

Of course, the plea of poverty eradication is definitely one that makes it unpopular to oppose. Whether or not, however, that plea is well meant is the more important question. Take one example of many: in Angola, oil development has not been efficient in ending poverty, although it has engorged a few select sectors with wealth. (See http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4861108.stm ) The Niger Delta has been one of the worst places where oil development has destroyed so much:

"Regional experts point to the oil boom itself as a cause of much of the violence and instability in the region. Rather than stimulating economic and social growth in the Niger Delta, the massive revenue generated by oil extraction has acted as a magnet for corruption." (http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/africa/july-dec07/delta_0727.html )

Oil development is never a simple process, as the phrase "resource curse" used among development specialists goes to show. Even where corruption is not a problem, this doesn't mean revenues go to truly sustainable development processes in a nation. Even the IMF has commented on how practices (like fuel subsidies) can complicate the issues (see http://www.imf.org/external/np/speeches/2006/101706.htm )

Combine this with the historic injustices that have accompanied oil companies (read up, for example, on the Niger Delta, as in this article: http://www.tompaine.com/articles/2006/10/13/crude_poverty.php ), and the prospects for Cambodia being helped by oil development do not seem very likely.

Especially ominous is the fact that this exploration will go on around the Tonle Sap basin. The freshwater fishing there has supported the local economy, along with rice farming, for generations. I hardly think that the farmers and fishermen who will be squeezed out of the Basin will be the ones who benefit from oil development.

But then again, eradicating poverty is a nice slogan for any benefactor. If eradicating poverty were seriously a goal in Cambodia, I doubt that oil exploration would be the first idea on the table.

As Emira Woods put it,

"The next time you pull up to the pump, stop a moment and remember that the thick black crude is extracted from the earth's crust at great social, political and environmental cost. Then do whatever is in your power to demand dignity and proper compensation for those whose land or sea may be cursed with the blessing of this natural resource."

Pchum Ben is the ancestor's festival here in Cambodia. It's a very big celebration. Everyone gets at least 1 day off, usually at least 3 days. Families gather and spend time together and also visit the Wats to commemorate the dead. It's a little like All Soul's Day in the West.

Our first Pchum Ben here has been different than we expected. At first, we thought we would take the opportunity to visit the beach, but things got very hectic (e.g., our huge water leak) and we decided not to go - a nice relaxing few days at the house sounded nice, and we could catch up on our cleaning! :)

We also decided to spend the money we saved by not going to the beach to buy the dog I mentioned in the last post. John David has really missed his dogs. He anticipates seeing all the people he left behind again - they can visit or we will eventually visit them. But our two wonderful dogs were given away forever. It is the memory that has given him the most tears as he has adjusted to Cambodia. We bought the new chihuahua to help him deal with that grief. The week looked like it would be just the thing we needed to spend time as a family, rest, and enjoy ourselves.

But life isn't on our plans. We began the week with news that a friend from Missouri that we used to attend church with had passed away. We had been getting news of his illness for the last week or so, and things sounded like they were getting better. But, on Monday, we heard that he did not make it. We were really shocked by his illness and death. We can't imagine the grief his family is going through, and this was on our mind all week.

I know that life is not possible without death, that we could not be born and grow and enjoy this earth if it were not for the possibility for change, changes that inevitably end in death. But there is such an illusion of permanence around us. During Pchum Ben, though, the reminders of how nothing is guaranteed, that everything is changing, were all around us. Sometimes it was just the smells - families drying fish out in the sun (a particularly strong smell), rotting garbage on the roadside (including very near our house, and the wind would carry the stench into our bedroom window), mild sicknesses in our family - so many things bringing the sights and smells and sounds of death into our senses.

Then, at the end of the festival, John David's new puppy died. We thought de-worming would help, but he never passed any worms and he never got any better. It had been beautiful watching my son try to care for this puppy and love it, believing it would any time recover and be wanting to play with him. But we watched the poor creature slowly die, sometimes through sleepless nights as it yelped in pain.

Our lives are built of deaths - of our ancestors who came before us, of the plants and animals we eat, of the days we consume that bring us closer to the last day. Watching my son learning those lessons means I am learning it again, too. Can I truly accept that our lives "are but a vapor," that we "but dust"? Often the temptation is to despair in accepting it. But I don't want to give up all the life and beauty that it makes possible. Perhaps turning Ancestor's Day into a celebration has more wisdom than I first guessed - or at least the possibility of wisdom.

Coming to terms with this is perhaps the first step to peace and joy on the other side. So, since I've already written such a somber e-mail, I'll finish up with Gerard Manley Hopkins' "Spring and Fall."

Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?
Leaves, like the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Ah! as the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder
By and by, nor spare a sigh
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
And yet you will weep and know why.
Now no matter, child, the name:
Sorrow's springs are the same.
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed
What heart heard of, ghost guessed:
It is the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.

*****

With that all said, I'll try to make the next post a happy one. In the meantime, please especially keep our grieving friends in Missouri in your prayers and thoughts.

1. We got a dog. A chihuahua puppy. That was an exciting adventure in finding a pet store in Phnom Penh! He's still sick from de-worming, but hopefully on the mend. John has named him 'Run,'which is short from 'Run-And-Bark.':)

2. We went book shopping. At Monument Books, which is a western style store complete with a little coffee shop. I bought 3 books, including a wonderful read by Pascal Boyer on cognitive psychology, anthropology, and human tendencies toward religious expression. John got a book on Dinosaur Origami. Very fun.

3. We had a BIG water leak. I mean, John was playing slip and slide (sometimes not on purpose!) in the living room, with water up to our ankles. This led to another cross-cultural adventure, called 'working with your landlord to find a repairman to fix it.' Crossing culture and language barriers is always challenging, but not always exciting. It's common for the renter (and the landlord) to sit and watch the repairs. With only a month of language classes behind me, I ran out of things to talk about after the first few hours of repairs! But now, we are in the dry. (However, our electricity has now gone out. We will try to get it fixed after Pchum Ben holiday. Hurray! :crazy: )

4. The monkeys that scared John David at Wat Phnom are in trouble! Click here for details: http://detailsaresketchy.wordpress.com/2007/09/29/monkey-terrorists/
Actually, the monkeys aren't that bad. But with that kind of bounty, maybe I should try for the cash. :lalala:

And now I'm racking my brain for all the other things that have kept us so wondrously busy this last week. Hmmmm...

While I'm thinking, I hope you are enjoying the Pchum Ben holiday!

READ this for more information: http://www.mekong.net/cambodia/pchum.htm
http://www.khmerinstitute.org/culture/pchumben.html

Memorable Quote:
"Some of the ghosts have small mouths," one man explains. "So we have to use special rice."

"Human lives go along with circumstances. It is not necessary to reject activity and seek quiet; just make yourself inwardly empty while outwardly harmonious. Then you will be at peace in the midst of frenetic activity in the world." -- Zen Master Yuanwu

Anything in the world is the proper subject of meditation, the path to peace. All roads can lead you to that goal, if mindfulness is your guide. But because this is true, so is its opposite. All roads can lead you astray.

I love a quiet, undisturbed place. I cherish times when I can sit for a long time without interruption - especially if it is outside in a green place with water. But if I limited my practice of mindfulness to these rare times, I would not practice.

I live in a noisy neighborhood. I live in a busy city. I live with a 5 year old son. So I have to embrace another circumstance, another path, than what I might choose.

The traffic here has been a good teacher of this. I find, for instance, that driving my moto around Phnom Penh is a great opportunity to practice mindful breathing (when you are not choking on the fumes!). It is not nearly as pleasant as walking meditation, but moto meditation is what I have. I had better make use of it.

"Inwardly empty while outwardly harmonious" is a pretty fair description of how you must practice moto meditation. You have to let go at every moment. Holding onto some fear or danger or anger can get you into a wreck very quickly.

Because the traffic here is alive. Motos swarm the streets like a line of ants, weaving in and out between the cars and trucks and bicycles. Traffic generally flows in two langes, but you also commonly have oncoming traffic in your lane. There aren't many traffic lights, so vehicles criss-cross in the labyrinths that might otherwise be intersections. Most people are watching out for one another. You know to expect the unexpected. If you can start to see the patterns and expectations, it only LOOKS dangerous.

But the balance is easily upset, and I have seen a few motos go down in the last month - usually with the riders bearing little more than a scratch. Last week, I got my own scratch. :)

I was on an open stretch of toll road and was going about 30 km/h. I noticed a moto easing himself across the road up ahead, so I started slowing down to make room for him. From behind, I could feel a motorcycle coming at a high speed. Sure enough, he thought he cold blaze past me, between me and the crossing moto. The crossing moto and I both swerved to avoid colliding with Mr. Excitement, but I happened to be on a patch of loose gravel. I was on the ground quicker than I could have time to think or react.

What a lesson on how we are all connected! In reflecting on that moment, I can see my life was explicitly connected with everything else. My life intersected with the lives of those other drivers that morning. They became an important part of my life even though they remained strangers. I will think of them as I patch my torn pants and bandage my wounds. How little I know about them!

But there is so much more. I am connected with the construction crew that spilled the loose dirt and gravel on the road. I am connected to the city planner that designed the toll road. I am connected to the factory worker that built the moto, the oilman who supplied the gasoline, the organic material that was crushed over millenia to make the oil, and on without end. In life's tapestry, pick any thread and, ultimately, it touches everything else. "The one contains the all."

Everything arises from multiple causes and conditions. So you must greet the moment for what it is and embrace it for what is is. And what it is is out of your control. I am not happy I had a moto wreck, but I was placed on that path this morning. It didn't make me happy, but it could not take away more than I would give it. I can embrace the pain of a scrape, the cost of a new pair of pants, the gratitude that it wasn't worse, and find peace - even in a world as frenetic as the traffic in Phnom Penh.