Poorest Country in the Western Hemisphere seeks to Change Image
AP
Port-au-Prince, Haiti

In the poorest country in the Western hemisphere, world leaders are gathering to talk about the impacts of being the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. Rene Preval, President of the poorest country in the Western hemisphere, will host the three day summit, which has been tentatively titled, “The Poorest of the Poor: Why Haiti is the Poorest Country in the Western Hemisphere.” At a press conference yesterday, in the capital of the poorest country in the Western hemisphere, President Preval stated, “We can no longer afford to be the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. Haitian will work hard to shed this ‘poorest country in the Western hemisphere” image.” However, one labour activist later remarked, “It is hard to work at shedding the image of the poorest country in the Western hemisphere because when you live in the poorest country in the Western hemisphere, there is no work.”

The activist continued to say that Haiti has been hit hard by its claim-to-fame of being the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. “In every newspaper article and every television broadcast, they tell us we are the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. This has an impact on the people who have to live in the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. It takes away our dignity.”

Meanwhile, in the richest country in the world, the President of the United States suggested the label of the ‘poorest country in the Western hemisphere’ is not that bad.

“If you truly are the poorest country in the Western hemisphere, you’ll attract investors.” He continued to suggest that perhaps Haiti will not always be the poorest country in the Western hemisphere if they follow the lead of the United States, the richest country in the world.

“When I see Haiti, I see the poorest country in the Western hemisphere because they don’t value our individualism. Their families are too close and they rely too much on their local communities instead of the free market. They don’t value materialism and affluence to the same extent we do. They place too much emphasis on their ancestry and oral traditions without focusing on the instant gratification of efficient capitalism. Once they overcome these obstacles, perhaps they will be more like us, the richest country in the world.” Until then, however, it appears that Haiti will remain the poorest country in the Western hemisphere.